BAILOUT?

 

The CEO’s of the “Big Three” American automakers (GM, Ford, Chrysler) were recently shown on TV begging Congress for money.  “Conventional Wisdom” blames the labor unions for the fiscal mess in which the automakers find themselves.  To paraphrase Henry Higgins, “Why can’t they (the workers) be more like Jesus (or Ghandi)?” and demonstrate some altruism not found among any other well-employed workers in the American (or world) economy.  What is wrong with those greedy workers that they won’t refuse being handed some big bucks to turn a few wrenches on the assembly lines?

We may as well ask why professional athletes, doctors, entertainers, famous artists, politicians or corporate CEO’s don’t turn down the big bucks!  How is it that the wage-earners are constantly under the hammer for not turning away larger wages and benefits, but the others get a pass?  What tripe!

To be sure, the “Big Three” are strapped for cash, and paying out those wages and benefits (especially healthcare for retirees) is quite expensive.  If they go under, their employees will well likely do without.  But I thought it was especially funny that some committee members asked the CEO’s which of them flew commercial to come testify before Congress.  All three came to Washington in their corporate jets.  It is a bit unseemly to be begging for taxpayer dollars in your $700 tailored suits, having just deplaned off your corporate jet.

The fact is that none of the “Big Three” should get bailed out with taxpayer dollars because they are probably going to fail anyway.  We are witnessing the predictable and inevitable result of very stupid corporate management theory that has been in place (at least at GM) since at least the late 1960’s.  I know something about the auto industry, though admittedly I have never worked in it.  I have been a “car nut” most of my life, since I was about 8 years old, some 54 years now.  I am a certified car mechanic, having graduated summa cum laude from the local community college’s auto mechanics program, and I have passed all eight of the ASE (Automotive Service Excellence) Master Mechanic’s exams, though I do not qualify for that since I have not apprenticed “in the trade” for the requisite year.  I have driven, bought and sold a lot of different car brands and types, and I currently own six vehicles of varied type, including four older ones.  I have followed the fortunes of GM especially closely, but I have most recently been the victim of the bean-counter mentality that dominates all domestic manufacturers by virtue of owning a Ford truck.  More about that later.

I have also been a general-practice lawyer for over 35 years.

Once upon a time, GM promoted a bean-counter finance person to the chairmanship, and a (tech background) “car guy” to the presidency.  GM used to build some great cars that way.  In the mid-1960’s, however, GM stopped that practice for the most part and started promoting bean-counters to the corporate presidency as well, using the presidency as a stepping-stone to the chairmanship, as in most other companies.  This was a serious tactical blunder.  “Car guys” could no longer count on being promoted past divisional manager/vice-president.  Control at GM (and the others) was becoming the exclusive province of the bean-counters.  Building good vehicles took a back seat to the Bottom Line on the balance sheet and to the philosophy of tricking the customers into thinking they were still getting good cars with clever “marketing.”

The quality of American cars started to suffer as the Bottom Line trumped all, and “voodoo marketing” was more important than the product being marketed.  Management of the Big Three began to consider the remedy for their then-occasional ills as clipping more costs and ratcheting up the marketing fluff.  The labor unions began to be blamed for those problems and, ultimately, the labor unions have been forced to make serious concessions to preserve their preferred positions.

I won’t argue here that workers have always been well-represented by their unions, but the unions and the workers have been getting more and more of the blame.  Even today, when ordinary people contemplate why the Big Three are in such financial trouble, it is usually overpaid, cosseted assembly-line workers who are deemed to be at fault.  The American public is so brainwashed by the constant drum of anti-union propaganda, at least ever since Richard Nixon’s presidency, that few who are not so employed are willing to consider that unions and hourly wage earners have no role whatsoever in deciding what products to design or manufacture, that the work product of the Big Three is no longer desirable and no longer selling very well.

Rick Wagoner, CEO of GM, testified before the congressional committee that the Chevrolet Malibu was a fine car.  It may well be, but it is but one product out of 35 or 40 that otherwise really SUCK for the most part!  Reading Consumer Reports every month as I do, I have decided that I wouldn’t buy a modern GM product, even though I own a 1941 Buick, a 1964 Olds, and a 1966 GTO.  I love the Toyotas I have owned, and I even liked my Nissan products though, in my opinion, the Toyota products are better.  Either are better than the tripe that the Big Three produce.  I have always wanted to like GM products, so it makes me sad that the current crop of vehicles is so undesirable.  A taxpayer bailout is not going to begin to change the culture at the Big Three.  In my opinion, it is not about safety nor environmental benefit nor fuel efficiency either.  It is almost indefinable what is wrong, but I think it is because the bean-counters are making the ultimate manufacturing decisions instead of car guys.

My special loathing, however, is for Ford Motor Company.  They refused to honor the warranty on my Diesel truck.  I had to pay to replace the entire accelerator-pedal assembly because one of the electronic sensors thereon was bad.  It was clearly covered under warranty, but Ford refused to honor it.  That accelerator-pedal assembly now costs over $500.  I priced it when I noticed that my truck was surging as I drove down the road.  The pedal assembly has two electronic sensors on it, an idling sensor and an acceleration sensor, both made in China most likely.  In their typical, bean-counter arrogance, Ford wouldn’t sell me just the relatively cheap sensor I needed.  They insisted that I purchase the entire pedal assembly with the two sensors on it.

I checked the acceleration sensor with an oscilloscope, and I noted that it was manifesting a “dropout,” a dead spot in the sensor that was probably causing the surging.  I concluded that sensor was about to fail again, so I had to do something.  I tried to order just a sensor from Ford; no deal.  They insisted on selling me the $500+ pedal assembly.  I tried to order a sensor as listed from NAPA, but it turned out to be a throttle position sensor for a gasoline-powered vehicle.  Same function, but different style and shape.

I went online and Googled “Diesel accelerator sensor” and got a hit at RockAuto.com, so I ordered a virtually identical sensor for $45 from them and replaced it in about 20 seconds!  After a few “wiggles” here and there, the $45 sensor has been working just fine ever since.

Why would not Ford sell me just the sensor?  Why would the bean-counters insist on making me purchase the unneeded pedal assembly?  There was nothing wrong with the pedal assembly—why make me buy another?  I daresay it is because the bean-counters are now in charge, and they think it is “cute” or something to make us dumb-ass customers pay for stuff we don’t need if we wind up giving Ford more money.  A “car guy” might have spared me that annoyance.  A car guy might have wanted me to fix the thing as quickly and as simply as possible.  Had Ford been willing to treat me with respect and tried to help me address my problem simply, I would most likely be willing to purchase another Ford product.  But, guess what?  I will NEVER buy another Ford product as long as I live, and I will do my best to cost them as much money as I possibly can hereafter.  I will screw them to the wall if I can.  I despise Ford Motor Company, and I intend to burn them now as much as possible.  I do whatever I can to dissuade others from buying Ford products also, and I have a rather large auto-advice following.  So much for brand loyalty.  Sadly, that is not the fault of the assembly-line workers or their unions, but they'll surely take the blame.

Finally, there is yet another symptom to consider.  Most European and Asian vehicle manufacturers provide very detailed owner’s manuals with their vehicles that do not presume the customer to be an idiot.  They presume instead that the customer might be intelligent enough to really want to know how the vehicle works and maybe do some of the routine maintenance on it.  Contrast them with the manuals provided with most American vehicles: said manuals are very superficial and seem to assume that the customer is some sort of knuckle-dragger who does not have sense to come in out of the rain.  American owner’s manuals are almost worthless crap.  Big Three management (and, unfortunately, some dealers, too) are condescending and treat the customer poorly.  THAT corrosive attitude problem is not going to be fixed by a taxpayer bailout, either.

The real idiots are the bean-counters running the Big Three and the politicians who listen to what they say.  Instead, they should say “no” to idiocy.  If the Big Three are ever going to amount to anything again, we need to put the bean-counters in their rightful place, which is to say, we should stash them in a back room in the finance section somewhere!

SACRELIGULOUS

(The following was submitted to the Richmond Times-Dispatch as a review of Bill Maher's movie, Religulous.)

In Bill Maher’s new movie, Religulous, one scene is particularly evocative: at a mobile truck-stop chapel in a converted semi-trailer, there are several truckers who are called to worship therein. One, a rather corpulent fellow, gets overtly annoyed with Maher’s skeptically pointed questions about the truckers’ religious beliefs and stomps out the door, grumbling about Maher’s obvious agnosticism. Maher slyly protests that he is only “asking questions,” but that does not mollify the offended trucker as he departs. The others kindly offer a genuine prayer for Maher’s soul.

The personal religious beliefs of many seem too fragile to tolerate Maher’s skepticism or disbelief. Fundamentalism of any faith seems quite so hostile, as if disbelief and doubt were a highly contagious disease. Maher and his film crew visit a variety of hallowed sites, like religious theme parks, the Creationist Museum and the Mormon Tabernacle. Maher interviews a former observant Jew, now a professed “Jew for Jesus” merchant who sells Christian kitsch. Trinkets. Nick-nacks. Tchotchkies. (There is a certain irony in using Yiddish terms to describe converted-Jew inventories!) Maher is not always welcome.

Maher also interviews a professed “former” homosexual who is running a program to “deprogram” homosexuals back to Christian heterosexual lifestyles, also easily annoyed with Maher’s skepticism. Apparently, Jesus did not approve of homosexuals. It seems that “God” is just too busy to torment homosexuals Himself, so some True Believers presume to take care of that for Him. Homosexuality is quite an obsession. Given the recent exploits of Reverend Ted Haggard’s ALLEGED dalliances with at least one homosexual prostitute, it seems that “he who smelt it, dealt it.”

The deprogrammed “former” homosexual is married to a “former” lesbian with whom he now has children. Maher suggests that his subject is still quite “gay,” but like Justice Potter Stewart’s observation about obscenity, Maher cannot define it, but he knows it when he sees it! Viewers can judge for themselves.

Maher contrasts his own doubts with the certitude of the True Believers, whose opinions and beliefs are based upon pure conjecture (“faith”), in turn derived from the “sacred” texts dictated by their deity of choice, the Bible, the Book of Mormon or the Koran. Maher emphasizes that he is consumed by doubt, not really knowing the Ultimate Truths. A review of Maher’s movie in the Times-Dispatch of October 26 said it “paints a portrait that makes religious believers look absurd … and criticizes them because they are … closed-minded.” Ironically, “closed minds” are inherently “absurd.” The professed beliefs targeted by Maher in his movie are, for the most part, ludicrously complicated and contradictory, but “the Debbil [Maher] made ‘em do it!” as Flip Wilson’s “Geraldine” defense would hold.

Maher stands accused of “intolerance.” The imposition of a burden of “proof” or persuasion upon the True Believers is quite resented. Doubting infidels and heathens are reviled, while those who are fervently sure of the unproven truth of their beliefs and opinions are regarded as acceptably faithful. “Proof” and doubt are regarded as antithetical heresy, directly challenging the deity of choice. The less the better, it seems. Those who do NOT doubt or question are quite annoyed (like the fat truck driver) with those who DO. Enforced silence is the expectation if not the rule. Maher is dismissed as a “fundamentalist of the secular kind,” his pesky questions demanding rational explanations and making jokes of the omissions. That Maher does not distinguish between the “crazy” fundamentalists and more rational True Believers is annoying. But many “rationalists” are quite deferential to and defending of the “crazies.” It is hard to tell the difference sometimes.

The earlier reviewer said that “we live in a country that is both devout and diverse.” Maher says that about 16% of the US adult population is composed of nonbelievers. Yet another 42% reject any notion of evolution and adhere to the literal truth of one of the two (at least) creation myths in Genesis. Presumably the “rationalists” make up the difference. The devout may be a majority, but they are not alone.

The US may well be a “Christian nation,” but the American GOVERNMENT was designed and intended by the Founders to be rigidly secular, regardless of the PERSONAL religious beliefs of a majority. The sincerely devout should not care what Bill Maher thinks, nor pay any attention to his movie, Religulous. Maher’s skepticism may be a lack of acquiescence or reverence, but it is not the same thing as intolerance.

SS DOOM

 As I was watching the second presidential "debate" in early October of 2008, I finally had to change the channel and instead started watching a movie on HBO.  My throat had gotten sore from yelling at the TV, and my homicidal rage had built up to dangerous, almost psychotic levels.  Apparently, the two candidates, John McCain and Barack Obama, could not hear me!

As with the current economic "crisis" that spawned a huge bailout and slut-purchasing "beads & trinkets" totaling a stupendous $840 Billion, all without committee hearings and deliberations (just like the USA PATRIOT Act), all we mere "peons" know is what the "experts" tell us.  And, like good little boys and girls, we buy into these doom-&-gloom predictions without a shred of personal knowledge.  Fear is an amazing motivator.

FOR EXAMPLE: both presidential candidates regurgitated the “conventional wisdom” that Social Security is in dire straits.  Just a few years from now, the Social Security "trust fund" will be bankrupt or draining or whatever scenario fits the particular political hack-job being promoted.  We numerous retired Baby Boomers will just suck the lifeblood out of the US economy like big fat ticks, noshing on bon-bons, gobbling up the national seed corn while crudely burping into the faces of the dwindling, slave-like wage-earners!!  (I intend to do my best!)

SO!  Our would-be leaders insist: We HAVE to raise FICA taxes or cut back on benefits!  NOW!  Dammit!  Just DO something!

(Ah-g-g-gh!  The sky is falling!)

So long as we don't increase INCOME taxes (on po' widdle rich folks especially), we just need to jack up the non-deductible FICA taxes paid by (mostly) the wage-earning working stiffs of the country or screw them out of future benefits, and we will SAVE SOCIAL SECURITY and can pat ourselves on the back!!

God bless America!  Congratulations to me!

Pardon me for being my cynical, skeptical self.  In one corner are the double-team of Henry Paulson, late of Goldman Sachs and currently our Treasury Secretary, and Ben Bernanke, Chair of the Federal Reserve.  In the other corner are the rest of us.  We have been warned.  If Paulson tells me that the sky is blue and that the sun sets in the west, I shall refrain from believing same until I verify that for myself.

You think me harsh and unreasonable?  Paulson is the same wizard who told us in March that "the 'fundamentals' are sound."  I heard that statement with my own ears on NPR, even though I did not have a clue as to what “fundamentals” meant.  Now Paulson has $700 BILLION of “your own money" to mess with, and his right-hand man is a 35-year-old MBA that Paulson brought over from Goldman Sachs and who will actually decide what to do with all that loot.

Both John McCain and Barack Obama as US Senators had voted for that slippery bailout, as did Va. Senators John Warner & Jim Webb.  Senate candidate Mark Warner also supported it, as did most Democrats.  Warner’s opponent, "Sunny Jim" Gilmore opposed it, as did Reps. Bobby Scott and Virgil Goode, among others.  

BUT--I digress.

As for Social Security, the first important thing to remember is that there is no "trust fund,” per se, where the FICA receipts are segregated from the rest of the federal revenues.  In fact, although they are so noted separately somewhere on paper, the ordinary budget accountings do not reflect the actual sums paid in by the FICA tax as against Social Security benefits paid.  No.  FICA revenues are dumped into the same general pot as other federal revenues, and they are then spent like other federal revenues, just as Social Security benefits are accounted like any other federal expenditure.  There may be no real Social Security deficit, and one may never truly materialize.  There IS a massive deficiency in general revenues, and the "bipartisan" deficit spending for the past several years (including the spending for Social Security benefits) is eating up all the FICA revenues along with everything else.  So, the question is begged: is the Social Security system really in trouble, as alleged, or is it just "cash-poor" because of the total overspending?

A second thing to remember is that most of us Baby Boomers (unlike myself) had 2 or 3 children, who in turn have had children, and most of them are still going to be earning salaries and wages generating FICA revenues even after we parasitic Baby-Boomers have all retired and are wantonly sucking on the host.  The continuing FICA revenue stream that will keep coming in the future seems utterly disregarded in "bipartisan"  fashion for the convenient purpose of scaring the Hell out of us!

We Baby Boomers were supposed to die off young because we all partied our asses off at Woodstock and thereafter.  We won't be drawing SS benefits after we start taking the "dirt nap."  (I'm still feeling a little woozy from Woodstock myself, and I didn’t go there.  They told me I had a good time, anyway.)

We should tune out the pols and experts until we are reasonably satisfied that an alleged problem truly exists, based upon clear, unambiguous evidence with real numbers and thorough deliberation, (unlike what occurred with the bailout).  Giving our implicit trust to those who may well have ulterior motives is no longer reasonable, and we must revive our skepticism and assert our rights to be thoroughly informed.  Sadly, we must now assume that "the government" (our leaders) are lying to us.  We should impose a "clear and convincing" burden of proof from now on.  I think most of them are willing to increase payroll tax revenues so they can smugly say they did not raise “income” taxes.

Our Fearless Leaders need to quit lying, quit pandering to our fears and quit trying to take short cuts on our self-interests.

THE FICKLE SEAT OF POWER (Car repair)

© 10/20/06, 8/26/08 Soowee.
All rights reserved.

There is a certain lack of information regarding the rebuilding of power seats, including the electrical switches and seat actuators, and this becomes a problem with restoration of older cars, where such hardware is no longer available from the factory, and used stuff may also be just as unreliable as what one already has.

This happened to me during the “rejuvenation” of my six-way electric seat in my ’64 Oldsmobile 98 convertible. Starting about four years ago, I took the seat out and disassembled the solenoid transmission under the seat [Figs. 1 & 2], which was gummed up with what looked like old, hardened lithium grease. After 40+ years, it was no wonder! I took everything apart, cleaned it up and re-lubed the guts and put it all back, but the control switch on the armrest had a dead spot in it and would not move the seat back. So, I used a jumper wire to put the tracks in the correct position, then I unplugged the wire to the motor and solenoid transmission so no one else could run it up (I am really big). I later installed another switch bought from a parts supplier, and it is now working fine.

Now, I will attempt to address here in two parts both the electrical issues and the mechanical issues inherent in fixing electric seats. It may well apply to brands other than GM, but that is what I am working on, so I cannot vouch its application to, say, Ford. It may also have some relevance to working on other devices, but the reader is on his or her own.

NOTE: the terminology used herein is my own since I do not have access to a GM parts list.


PART ONE—ELECTRICAL ISSUES:

The first order of business is to determine complete current flow of a full 12 volts to all of the components in the circuit. [Fig. 3] One may rehab the mechanical parts of the seat first, as I did, but it won’t work until the electrical circuits are functional, and if it takes the average reader as long as it took me to get “a round Tuit” (around to it—four years), then the mechanical stuff may well gum up again for lack of use! After fixing the electrical stuff and still suffering balky solenoids, I had to disassemble the seat AGAIN and fix those problems—AGAIN!

Any factory manual is worth having to follow the proper procedures, but it helps to have some knowledge of electrical circuit testing. The drawings and diagrams in the Olds factory manual were invaluable, but the switch disassembly was all my own doing. Note that the Olds factory manual for 1964 addresses the six-way seat operation both in the "Electrical/Accessory" section (12) and also peculiarly in the "Body" section (16), the latter actually having more information and diagrams.

Power comes from the ignition-switched 25-amp fuse in the upper right corner of the fuse panel [Fig. 4] that also serves the power windows, the power antenna and the cruise control. Beware operating all of those devices at once, for it may blow the fuse, especially if any of them are balky and sucking a lot of amps. These devices are on the “Accessory” circuit so they will operate with the key in either the “Acc” or “Run” position.

Before checking the circuit, it is necessary to be sure the ignition switch is off, then remove the ignition key, then remove the seat switch. One should also first disconnect the negative battery cable for extra assurance. In my car the seat switch is in the armrest panel with the window switches. In some cars it is located in the left side of the seat itself, and those switches are wired differently, so the factory manual should be checked. I had one screw to remove from the front of the armrest, and another back under the inside door handle to loosen. [Fig. 5] I then raised the armrest panel top about 4 inches and popped the plastic wiring harness connector off the bottom of the switch held in place by two spring-steel clips on the underside of the switch. [Fig. 6] I then removed the switch itself by removing two short screws holding it snugly in place, and I pulled the wiring harness out clear for circuit checking. One can remove the entire assembly from the armrest panel first, then disassemble the switch assembly.

The switch itself has 6 pins on the underside [Fig. 7] that conduct current to and from the switch assembly through 6 sockets in the plastic harness connector. [Fig. 8] Those respectively are 12-volt hot (battery), (motor) field-forward & up, field-back & down, horizontal actuation, front-tilt actuation and rear-tilt actuation. One of the two directional motor-field connectors must be energized by the switch while simultaneously actuating one of three solenoids next to the motor under the seat. Each electro-magnetic solenoid, in turn, drives a pair of cables to the respective left and right actuators (pair), three on each seat track. [Fig. 9] The front actuators tilt (raise or lower) the front of the seat, the rear actuators do the same for the rear of the seat, and the center actuators move the seat forward or back on the tracks. When one seeks to raise or lower the seat level, it energizes both front and rear actuators simultaneously. The electric seat motor reverses direction to accommodate these parameters via the field windings in the motor.

I first sought to clean the switch harness connector in the door (as distinguished from the motor/transmission harness connectors under the seat) by tightly rolling a small tube of fine-grit sandpaper so that it was no more than a couple of millimeters across. I used a piece of sandpaper that was about two inches long by no more than 1/3-inch wide, and rolled it the long way (rough side out). I took this small roll and repeatedly twisted it into each of the 6 tiny sockets on the switch harness connector [See Fig. 8] to clean the inevitable corrosion off the contacts as best as possible. I used a can of compressed air to blow them out, frequently changing the grit surface on the sandpaper.

Now, the only operational difference is determined by the location of the switch, which has reversed parameters for either the armrest or the seat-side locations. As noted above, the seat mechanism moves horizontally front to rear, tilts the front and tilts the rear. The switch has six metal contacts inside which trigger the motion functions.

Disassembly of the switch is tricky. Do NOT try to pry up the four flat lugs holding the switch assembly to the underside of the switch housing. [Fig. 10] They are part of the spring-steel clips and could suddenly snap off and hit you in the eye! You will then have a big hospital bill, be blind in at least one eye, and you will STILL not have fixed the switch! You may also break the flimsy pot-metal switch housing. There are four spring-steel clips holding the internal switch parts inside the pot-metal housing. The two spring-steel clips on the sides are the longer ones that also hold the plastic harness connector fast to the switch assembly. Remove these first by GENTLY rocking a thin screwdriver blade next to each larger side clip inbetween the housing side and the switch assembly plate to provide just a bit of static tension on the clip itself. Then one should use the tip of a punch to GENTLY push the small retaining spur or snell on each clip past the little hole near the edge of each of the four sides of the pot-metal housing so that the clips may be CAREFULLY withdrawn. Do this successively with each of the four clips, and GENTLY withdraw the switch assembly therefrom. Be careful not to drop one of the tiny end clips where it gets lost (like I did while disassembling the device again to take the pictures for this article!)

There should be a small piece of sheet plastic covering the copper switch contacts (sandwiched between those contacts and the button assembly) to inhibit moisture on the contacts. [Fig. 11] My plastic sheet was slightly perforated from years of use, so I put some plastic electrical tape on the underside to block the perforations before I reinstalled it over the later-cleaned contacts, some of which were badly corroded initially. The plastic should protect the copper contacts from spills, rain, etc. on the armrest. Clean the contacts with the same fine-grit sandpaper, being sure to clean each facing pair of contacts underneath each overlay copper strip, then blow the resultant dust off with the compressed air. I also used the sandpaper to remove some of the surface corrosion off the pot-metal switch housing and removed the button assembly [Fig.12] and cleaned it as well. The three buttons rock or pivot over top of the various paired contacts closing and opening them alternatively. The circuits thus energized reverse the two field windings for the motor to reverse direction, energize the forward or rear actuators to tilt or the horizontal actuators to move forward or back.

After cleaning the switch assembly and its harness connector, I first checked continuity through the switch assembly with the ohm settings on my multimeter by activating the various buttons and making sure that completed, low-resistance contact was made at all the pins in the proper order. NOTE: DO NOT USE THE OHMMETER SETTING ON A “HOT” WIRE! All current must be completely disconnected from the circuits, or you will burn your multimeter up!

The No. 1 pin is the “HOT” feed when energized, so I checked for possible resistance from that pin through the rest of the circuits. One must check that the circuit resistance throughout the switch is not excessive, less than 0.5 ohms. After reconnecting the battery cable(s), the key should be turned to the “Acc” position to energize the circuit, making sure the under-seat connectors to the motor and to the solenoid transmission assembly are all disconnected. Using the multimeter as a voltmeter, with the black lead on a good ground, one checks for 12 volts at the following places in the following order, being sure to not perforate the wiring insulation or break the connectors:

1—Fuse panel;
2—No. 1 socket on switch harness connector—should be “HOT”;
3—Reassemble the cleaned switch assembly and rejoin the cleaned switch harness connector to it; check the under-seat motor and solenoid transmission harness connectors (switch buttons must be activated) for proper voltage. [Fig. 13]

If at least 12 volts are found successively at these locations, then the electrical circuit is functioning properly. If less than 11 volts is found anywhere, there is a current-robbing voltage drop (“V-drop”) somewhere between the place checked and whichever prior one which was OK, and it MUST be fixed. There really should be no more than ½ volt dropped between the fuse panel and the motor and solenoids; any resistance between (such as loose connections or corrosion) can cause a “drop” and starve the motor of much-needed voltage. That will cause the motor to instead pull excessive amperage (current) and may heat things up and/or burn some wiring somewhere or even burn the motor up.

For the unfamiliar, voltage drop is checked (like all voltage) in parallel with the circuit or loads. [See Fig. 3] One meter lead or probe is put at the fuse panel, for example, and the other lead or probe is inserted into the back of the harness connectors (“back-probe”) [See Fig. 13] to the seat motor and solenoids, for example. With the key on “Acc” and the switch buttons successively pushed to activate the seat circuits, if any reading during an activation shows a “drop” of more than 0.500 volt, then that specific circuit must be fixed. Starting at the fuse panel, the remote probe should be moved further and further away from the probe at the fuse panel, checking the voltage at each point in the circuit, until possible offending component(s) is/are identified. Then the probe at the fuse panel can be moved toward it until the offending link is narrowly identified and then repaired. Be sure to back-probe connectors in place as the circuits must be complete and working to measure voltage drop. One should also check the V-drop from the fuse panel to the back of the “Hot” wire connector to be sure there is no significant drop in that feed. Then the circuits may be checked from the back of the “Hot” connector to the back of each of the other connectors as the switch is operated, then from the respective switch connectors to the remote connector(s) on the motor and solenoids. NOTE: the motor and solenoids will eat up whatever voltage is left over, so if the circuit is checked to the seat frame (though which the motor and solenoids are grounded) then a full 12 volts drop will likely show on the meter. The idea is to check what actually GETS to the motor and solenoids (ideally a full 12 volts), not what is used up by them.

It is now time to address the rehab of the mechanical components.


PART TWO—MECHANICAL ISSUES:
First disconnect the negative battery cable to keep any current from flowing through any circuits. Disconnect all under-seat wiring harnesses from the motor and the solenoid transmission under the seat and (optional) remove the seat cushion(s). There are usually four flanged ½-inch bolts that hold down the seat frame assembly to the floor pan, and they should be removed. One may need a U-joint on a socket extension to get to the “rear” bolts on each side of the seat tracks. NOTE BIG TIME: there is also a ground wire from the seat frame to the car floor [Fig. 14], also held in place under the driver’s seat by a fifth flanged ½-inch bolt. That must be completely removed and disconnected from the floor to get the seat out.

If all the wiring is disconnected, the seat frame assembly should come out of the car easily and may be turned upside down on a protected surface on a table [See Fig. 1], thus exposing the motor and solenoid transmission assembly for removal. Disconnect all drive cables from all six actuators on both seat tracks [See Fig. 9] and remove the solenoid transmission. Check the motor for proper lubrication and leave in place unless it needs rebuilding—probably not. There is a little “driveshaft” from the motor to the solenoid transmission that should be set aside in a safe place.

Remove the solenoid transmission by first removing the two bolts [Fig. 15] holding it to the seat frame. There is an aluminum “keeper” strap across each side of the solenoid transmission where the cables attach to the transmission. [Fig. 16] It is necessary to unscrew those “keeper” straps to remove the 6 cables from the transmission. There are two screws on each strap, and they have really weird socket holes in the tops that defy ordinary screwdriver fittings, so I used the short end of an Allen wrench to loosen them (a Torx bit might work also). Then disassemble the transmission by separating the case at the mid-seam held by a Phillips screw on each side. There are three solenoids inside which attach to the exterior cables on each side.

There are a pair each of blue, yellow and black cables, the short ones going to the left (driver’s) side and the longer ones going to the right (passenger) side. [See Fig. 1] On my Olds the yellow cables drive the front actuators, the blue cables drive the rear actuators, and the black cables drive the center actuators. They are made like speedometer cables. Be sure that none is kinked from trying to drive that gummy old lubricant inside the solenoids or actuators. Replacements are sometimes available from “USA Parts Supply” in Kearneysville, WV.

Open up the transmission case and clean the old lubricant thoroughly off each component therein and re-lube with nonhardening material, like white lithium grease or anti-seize compound, then reassemble the solenoid transmission. Energize with a 12-volt source to be sure the solenoids are easily engaging. I keep a charged spare 12-volt car battery on my workbench for such purposes.

The next step is very time-consuming and rigorous: remove and disassemble each of the six actuators and clean them thoroughly also, ONE AT A TIME. I started with the rear actuators [Figs. 17 & 18] and cleaned all the gummed-up white grease out of each of them [Fig. 19], using the point of a screwdriver in the grooves of the gears. It was hardened in the teeth of the gears, so it took a long time. It was substantially impervious to an electric wire wheel!! But for the rear actuators, it may be necessary to actually move the seat tracks fore and aft to get to the mounting bolts for the actuators, so I used a cut-nail in an electric drill and stuck that into the center actuator to move those tracks. Don’t let it jam hard against the track stops as it will jam the nail in the drive hole.

The front and rear actuators work as follows:
Torque force is applied to the input worm gear by the cable. [See Fig. 19] The worm gear engages a drum-like spiral gear inside the housing (that is where the old grease is built up). As the worm gear spins the spiral drum, a threaded rod or “piston” of sorts rides up and down inside the drum on internal threads, moving the seat corner up or down. The far end of the piston engages a slot on the underside of the seat to keep it in place, held in place by a 19 mm. nut that also holds in place a spring-steel clip about 2 inches long on the far (upper) side of the seat-track scissor. [Fig. 20]

Disassembly is fairly straightforward for the front and rear actuators. The track will pivot up toward the front of the seat when disconnected from the rear actuator. [See Fig. 17] But, I could not figure out a way to disassemble the center actuators that move the seat fore and aft, so I removed them from the tracks (BEWARE the tension spring, see below) and just sprayed them thoroughly inside with brake cleaner and let that drain out, hoping I was getting them cleaned up. I then sprayed the insides with white lithium grease and am hoping for the best. When removing or reinstalling the center actuators, there is a small coil spring sitting inside the scissor track assembly on a vertical post aft of the center actuator (don’t pinch your fingers working on this system). [Figs. 21 & 22] That spring provides tension against the body of the center actuator to keep the actuator pinion gear engaged in the teeth on the seat track. That spring must be relocated in place when reinstalling the cleaned center actuator on each side. Note its assembly before removal of the center actuator. When reinstalling the center actuators, while tightening the two flanged bolts that hold each center actuator to the track (the front and rear actuators do not use flanged bolts), you may want to push the drive pinion off the track rack just a “hair” (against the spring tension with your thumb) to keep the pinion from binding. After I cleaned and reinstalled the center actuators and the springs, I re-lubed the pinion and teeth on the seat tracks with white lithium grease.

Before reinstalling the front and rear actuators, check the track scissor lift actuation. Each side should move easily without binding. When reinstalling all of these actuators, it is necessary to check the piston depth on the bottom of each drum gear inside the front and rear actuators for even depth, especially left and right. [See Fig. 18] It is also necessary to be sure that the seat tracks are in the same fore-aft location respecting the center-actuator pinons. The left and right seat sides must move in tandem with each other in all modes.

After the actuators have been cleaned and reinstalled, reconnect all cables and energize the system with a 12-volt source to check ease of operation. Be sure and operate a pair of actuators together, preferably with the control switch in the car. One may even check voltage drop to the motor and transmission again to be sure. Reinstall the seat, making sure to connect the ground cable under the driver’s seat. Tighten the track bolts snugly and rock the seat to be sure there is no play in the bolts. Connect the under-seat harness at both the motor and the solenoids and work the operation with the switch again to be sure it is fully functional.


FIGURES REFERENCED:

Electrical work:

1—Under-seat view
2—Solenoid transmission, cables
3—Seat elec. circuit diagram (modified)
4—Fuse panel diagram
5—Door handle, plate removed
6—Switch assembly
7—Switch pins
8—Connector sockets
9—Track, right
10—Switch clips, lugs
11—Switch contacts, moisture sheet
12—Switch buttons
13—Motor, solenoid connector


Mechanical Work:

14—Ground wire
15—Solenoid transmission bolts
16—Aluminum cable “keeper”
17—Actuator, right rear, assembled
18—Track, right--up position
19—Actuator, right front, disassembled
20—Actuator, right front, 19mm. nut anchor
21—Spring, right track, w/center actuator
22—Spring, left track, w/center actuator


All photographs (Figs. 1, 2 and 5-22) © 8/26/08 by Soowee. All rights reserved.
Figures 3 & 4 taken from the 1964 Oldsmobile Service Manual, © Oct., 1963, Oldsmobile Division, General Motors Corporation.

FIRE STATION OF THE CROSS

 Yet another path to Hell for me was established by my visits to the local fire station on Sundays when I was supposed to be in church, as were most of my less heathen contemporaries.  I must explain.

Our municipal complex was located adjacent to the post office in my small North Carolina hometown.  My buddy Tom and I both grew up to be lawyers, and we used to go upstairs in the municipal building to conduct imaginary trials in the courtroom when it was not in use.  He came by it more authentically than did I because his father was my family’s lawyer.

Anyway, the town fire station was attached to the municipal building, right around the corner from the Episcopal Church, and a fairly long hike away from my Presbyterian Church.  The fire station had all the beautiful shiny fire engines and a real pole to slide down on from the dormitory above.  Some of us more adventuresome types would try to sneak upstairs to the dormitory because there were pictures of “nekkid” women taped to the walls up there, probably early “Playboy” centerfolds.  Absolutely fascinating, especially for a 14-year-old.

One of my Episcopal buddies and I had managed to finagle a deal with our respective parents whereby he and I would meet at the fire station between Sunday School and church and arrange to attend either the Episcopal Church or the Presbyterian Church together, SO LONG AS we attended one or the other each week.  It never occurred to us that our parents, being close friends with each other, would find our “regular” church attendance so endearing or worthy of discussion.

At the fire station it was possible to work the vending machines and feast upon a drink and pack of “Nabs” (crackers) for the crippling sum of fifteen cents.  Ten cents for the drink and five cents for the “Nabs,” this being the early, stable 1960’s.  Being the godless heathen that I was fast becoming, I would sit in the back of the Sunday School classroom barely paying attention to the lesson being drilled into our impressionable skulls, trying to make change of no less than fifteen cents from the quarter or so I was given by my parents to put into the collection envelope so that I could sate my venal, earthly desires at the fire station!  By sitting in the back, I could count on the collection envelope having enough change provided by the other, more devout kids to accomplish my task, as well as stay out of the plain view of the pious, humorless teacher at the front.

A fast walk to the fire station right after Sunday School ensured that I could get my drink and Nabs and pow-wow with my buddies (mostly Episcopalians) who were already there before it was time to make a decision and head to one church or the other.

It thus became “obvious” to my friend and me one day that our parents did not really KNOW if we attended one church or the other.  It was but a short trip to the conclusion that we REALLY did not need to attend either church as we were SURE that each set of parents would assume that we had attended the other church.  Thus, we could kill an hour hanging out at the fire station and trying to sneak upstairs to look at the “nekkid” women if the fire station were skeletally attended, as was usually the case on Sundays.  Thus started our downfall.

I was something of a show-off.  (Seriously!)  I was NOT subject to peer-pressure as a youth—I created it!  I, therefore, decided to demonstrate on one of these godless Sundays at the fire station how it was possible to put a whole pack of peanuts into a Pepsi and guzzle the whole thing, peanuts and all, non-stop until the bottle was completely empty, followed by a very loud burp to the cheers and applause of my cohorts who were also playing “hooky” from church.  It guaranteed a lot of laughs and mirth.

So, in one of these moments of vain demonstration, I proceeded to perform this amazing trick of derring-do and was just about to swallow the last gulp of peanut-choked Pepsi to the amusement and satisfaction of my friends when I noticed their strange silence!  I looked down the barrel of the bottle and saw, to my amazement and dread, my father standing on the concrete apron of the fire station with something less than pleasure or admiration in his eyes.  Strangely, he was not impressed with my performance.

Needless to say, that was the end of our church-attendance-choice program.  It was also the end of quick trips to the fire station.  You-know-what had hit the fan and spattered all over the place.  It was really ugly.  Mandatory church attendance with my adoring family was now the sole program.  I never set foot inside that Episcopal Church (nor the fire station) again.

OZYMANDIAS

(The following is the text of an e-mail that was sent March 21, 2008 to Oklahoma legislator Sally Kern, a former public-school teacher, whose anti-homosexual rant was plastered on "YouTube" and provoked this missive.)

Dear Ms. Kern:

I listened to (at least a portion of) what was represented as your speech about the creeping "homosexual agenda" that you allege will destroy our nation because of its disregard for what you cite as "God's Word."
You don't reveal where "God's Word" is cited, presumably in the Bible, presumably because you consider yourself a believing Christian.

You further say that "studies show" that no society that "totally embraces" homosexuality has lasted more than a few decades.
You do not specifically attribute the "studies" to which you refer. You don't define what you mean by "total embrace."

Citing your experience as a public-school teacher, you assert that one of the main objectives of the "homosexual agenda" is to "recruit" children as young as 2 years old into the movement. You obviously imply that the point is to convert those children into becoming homosexuals, which disregards most of the known scientific information that homosexuality is not a "learned" attribute, although tolerance and respect for homosexuals' liberty is.

You equate homosexuality with cancer and terrorism and Islam. I am sure Muslims are glad to know your real attitude about their religion. Like many self-annointed pious Pharisee/Christians, I am sure your disdain for non-Christian religion allows you to feel superior. Whatever heaven you wind up in after death I hope I am not there with you. I would hate to have to spend eternity with a bigot like I think you are.

You alternate in that part that I heard between what is the nature of your opinion to what you "know" to be "fact." You claim to not be "anti-homosexual," but you asserted that merely making this public statement puts your life or health "in jeopardy," as if the homo's will put out a contract on you or something similar.

I think you are a liar.

I think you are a bigot.

I think you know that you are lying and are a bigot.

I think you don't care.

But, it makes no difference anyway. You made the statement, and you were apparently cheered by some of your Republican colleagues for doing so. That says a lot more about you and your Republican colleagues than you can possibly imagine, and it ain't pretty, either.

I doubt, however, that you care what the opinions of people like me are, but you should know that your comments have been widely disseminated as far away as Virginia, at least.

How does it feel to be so (in)famous for such remarks? I wonder.
How do you sleep with yourself at night? How does any husband or girlfriend you might have?

I am also really curious as to how so many professed Christians can be so hateful as you are. I am curious as to how you can seize on something you may (or may not) have actually read in the Bible somewhere and then deem yourself one of the earthly enforcers of what you claim to be "God's Word," making life as difficult and as unhappy for homosexuals and their families as you possibly can while wrapping yourself in the American flag, grasping the Bible in your paw, and piously declaring that you are not a homophobic bigot. That is hubris worthy of Bill Clinton or Eliot Spitzer.

Thank goodness you are no longer corrupting the fertile minds of public-school children as their warped, bigoted teacher, seemingly spreading hate and lies misrepresented as "fact" like the "facts" you cite without attribution.

You are a "piece of work," Ms. Kern, as some folks hereabouts say.

You really are.

You may be fretting about which societies get to last more than a "few decades," so I presume you mean that if America cracks down on the "queers," then we will last a long time. I think that is what you mean. Actually, I'd rather be dead than to have to honor you as one of our leaders.

Take a look at the poem, "Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley (see below) given that you are so concerned about societal survival. If you can even read anything other than what some half-wit Bible-thumper regurgitates to you, you may find it instructive.

Ozymandias

By Percy Bysshe Shelley

	I met a traveller from an antique land,
	Who said--"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
	Stand in the desart....Near them, on the sand,
	Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
5	And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
	Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
	Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
	The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
	And on the pedestal, these words appear:
	My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings,
	Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
	Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
	Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
	The lone and level sands stretch far away."

ASP-HOLES

… and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp….

--Isaiah 11:7-8 (KJV).

(The following story has been slightly fictionalized to protect the guilty parties, but it is based on real events long ago.)

This story is not for the faint of heart nor for the intolerantly devout. There were three teenaged boys whose parents allowed them to sit together in church so long as they attended church. That was the ultimate goal as far as the parents were concerned. So, too, was it the objective for those determined, if not devout, young men. It fed their comradeship, even unto miserable, shared conditions.

Paying attention to the Bible readings and sermons was a struggle for a lot of folks who despised those who did not attend a church but who were not particularly attentive or engaged themselves therein. Those three teenagers were typical of their kind. While the preacher was intoning eloquently about this or that spiritual aspect, these young men’s’ minds were usually focused like laser beams on pussy or cars. Life for teenagers was fairly simple back then. What? You say it is not so different today? OK. It is good that there are certain constants in this crazy world.

So as most are sort of nodding off during the run-up to the sermon, which usually involved a Bible reading first, upon which the subsequent sermon would be based, the preacher reads the above verse from Isaiah, Chapter 11. That was the beginning of the end of the church comradeship.

One of the teens, in particular, was a very funny, very naughty, very easily amused young man. He shall be called by the name of “Tom” here, not his real name, however. Tom was a prankster and a joker. He was also very smart, but he was not particularly restrained in his exuberant reactions to stimuli.

One of the most widely shared disorders among humans in America is a case of what a friend calls the “church giggles.” You know what that is. That is when something normally not very funny happens to strike a common funnybone among two or more persons in church or some other inappropriate place, forcing the suffering persons to get to giggling almost uncontrollably over basically nothing. Soon the inappropriateness of the giggles themselves becomes the amusement, forcing even harder giggling, all by now beyond the control of the afflicted persons. Most all of us have suffered the affliction at one time or another.

That is what happened to Tom and his comrades.

When the preacher read the verse about the sucking child playing in the hole of the asp (what in the world was he sucking on, the boys also wondered?), Tom got to giggling and muttering about “asp-holes.” That is when the other two comrades became infected, and they all had their hands clamped firmly over their mouths while their backs and shoulders heaved rapidly in unison at the absurdity of the presence of “asp-holes” in the Bible, especially children playing in them! Adjacent worshippers were appalled.

WHEREUPON, at that very moment, there was yet another occurrence that drove the whole scene over the cliff like “Thelma and Louise.”

Tom farted. Loudly. In church.

It resonated like a foghorn against the wooden bench.

The dam broke. Whole villages were washed away, as was the comradeship.

The comrades could no longer restrain themselves, and as Tom kept repeating (loudly, by now) “Asp-holes! Asp-holes!” between guffaws, he was joined therein by open laughing from his weeping comrades.

That was the end. The parents of each boy were not amused. They were shamed and embarrassed. They probably had no idea what had started it all because they were probably not as attentive to the Bible reading as were the boys.

No matter. Thereafter each boy had to sit with his respective family under the tight, watchful eyes of the parents. Families worshipping together. Just like a Norman Rockwell painting. Or a George Lincoln Rockwell painting, depending on one’s point of view. Hitler Youth, come to Amerika.

No more “asp-holes.” Most likely the preacher, now deceased, never used that Bible verse again. The parents are now all dead, too. The comrades, long since separated by time and distance, have lost track of each other and are approaching their Social Security years. But they were tight as ticks once, and they were easily amused.

DEVOTEDLY

(The following was written in furtherance of recording a memory I have discussed several times recently.)

One of my teen years’ pastimes I fondly remember may give some devout patriots pause. My personal road to Hell is surely paved with all the spitballs I threw at the ubiquitous print of the unfinished Gilbert Stuart portrait of The Father of Our Country that hung in most every public-school classroom back in the 1950’s and 1960’s.

During mandatory morning religious devotionals.

I am talking about pre-Madalyn Murray O’Hair.

We had ‘em. Every morning, the select Brown-Noser of the Day would be invited to the Principal’s Office at my North Carolina high school, and before regular classes began at 9:00 AM he or she would read aloud over the school-wide intercom system the select religious message for us unwashed heathens, inclusive of Bible reading and prayer in the name of Jesus, Amen. I used to wonder what the few Jewish kids in our school thought about all that, but no one ever said anything, so neither did I. I now regret that, but that is all another story. I was never chosen. Brown-nosing came hard for me.

While my more devout brethren and "sistren" in my homeroom class would bow their heads in earnest prayer, I would be sizing up the ballistic distance to ol’ George, hanging on a nail over the blackboard across the room. At the appropriate moment (usually determined by the probable glue-like stickiness of the wad of notebook paper I was rolling around in my mouth), I would remove said sticky wad and hurl it across the room at George, then put my head down quickly in feigned prayer lest the teacher look up quickly at the gratifying sound of said hurled spitball loudly smacking the glass overlying the countenance of George and catch me admiring my work.

Of course, at such an obvious and well-known sound, most all of the students would simultaneously look up (so it was important that I look up, too, so as not to unduly reveal my guilt by being the only student whose head was still bowed) and observe the portrait of George rocking back and forth on its single nail by which it hung with its wire stretched across the back, the offending wad of slobber-saturated notebook paper stuck firmly to the glass over George’s face like some horrible three-dimensional wart erupting from the sainted face of the Father of Our Country.

Jesus wept. Or laughed.

The late stand-up comedian “Brother Dave” Gardner used to ask, quite reasonably I thought, “Do you think the Washington Monument looks anything like George?” Well, the offending spitball was about the same color as the stone in the Washington Monument, but that was as far as any resemblance would go. I was fairly good at this pastime, and Jesus must have forgiven me, because I kept getting away with it again and again until ….

I had started to branch out and take more risks, thanks to my rising successes. I was giving George the customary “facelift” in other classes as well, usually while the teacher therein had his or her back turned to us students while writing on the blackboard. I made the mistake one day of firing a nice, huge, sticky wad of notebook paper at George in Algebra class, and the teacher turned around to see me just as my arm was extended past my face directly toward George, and the simultaneous “smack” against George’s glass drilled the quiet of the moment. He had me dead in his sights! This teacher was regarded as one of the more sophisticated faculty members, and he was diabolical in his punishment of choice: I had to come back to his room after school and perform 100 pushups on the floor!

I hated pushups! I hated them almost as bad as windsprints, many of which I was required to do by the football coach who hated my guts. The feeling was mutual. The football coach was also my Presbyterian Sunday School teacher, and his patience had been tried many times by my suggestions that predestination meant that I could do anything I wanted since my fate (doomed vs. saved) was already sealed, according to his teachings. He did not approve of my irrefutable logic!

I did not want to do 10 pushups, let alone 100! But I did them, for I did not want to learn what the diabolical alternative might be. It was probably to my advantage that I was a good Algebra student, but that did not give me a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. I did every one of those stinking, miserable pushups.

Following my sweaty penance, I gave up providing George his warts. It was time for others to succeed to my coveted mantle.

______________________________

SOOWEE'S NEW "THEORY" OF GRAVITY

(See 4/11/16)

My new "theory" of gravity (really a mere hypothesis or pretentious guess) purports to unify the four fundamental sub-atomic forces, three of which (electromagnetism, strong nuclear force and weak nuclear force) have already been "unified" as different manifestations of the electromagnetic spectrum.

I realize that my new "theory" may have already been considered and discarded within the scientific community, but I have never read about it, so here goes:

I believe it is correct to say that it is generally believed among the scientific community that gravity behaves in a manner consistent with quantum particle behavior, in that it expresses both particle and wave characteristics. I believe it is also correct to say that it is generally believed that gravity is a very weak force overall, but very persistent, traveling long distances, which seems contradicting. I presume (fatuously?) there are devices which can measure differentiated gravitational forces.

In Technology Review, Vol. 111, No. 3 (May/June, 2008), Nate Nickerson's article on the last page about particle physics 69 years ago jogged my thinking. Therein he quotes Phillip M. Morse, further citing some research by a Japanese physicist Yukawa differentiating the type of "non-electric" yet radioactive particle or wave given off when neutrons are transformed into protons, presumably by collision.

I had always thought that any radiation was within the measurable spectrum of electromagnetism, just as visible light is within that spectrum. The only difference is that radiation is at a much higher frequency/shorter wavelength than radio waves or light.

Suppose that gravity is also in that same spectrum, but at a frequency so high (or so low?) and wavelength so short (or long?) that it cannot be measured with existing instruments. That is pure speculation on my part, but I have never seen that supposition addressed or dismissed in the few scientific writings that I have read. Suppose that gravity is at one "end," or near the "end" of the electromagnetic spectrum, which is probably and actually infinite, as likely is the universe. It could well be at the practical "end" since perhaps no other force or phenomenon in nature is to be found "above" or "below" it.

I posit the possibility that gravity is at the ultra-low end of the spectrum rather than the ultra-high end of the spectrum because its weak effects are realized over long distances consistent with a long wave of very short amplitude.

Perhaps this could be tested like Einstein's Theory of General Relativity during a total eclipse of the Sun, as follows: as Einstein's Theory predicted, we know that gravity will bend known electromagnetic waves (like light). If, in fact, gravity is an electromagnetic wave itself, then perhaps gravity can bend gravity. If so, could the Moon's gravity bend the Sun's gravity in such a way that, during a total eclipse, that portion of the Sun's gravity bending around the Moon would be focused like a lens on some part of the Earth while the Moon would be inhibiting a portion of the Sun's gravity with its own mass, such that a differential in measured solar gravity could be observed in the shaded area of the eclipse? Of course, one must exclude the force of the Moon's own gravity thereabout. Would the alignment of the Sun and the Moon create a greater measurable gravity there? I don't know.

I don't know if any of this has ever been considered or if there has ever been an attempt to measure it, but it did occur to me while reading Nickerson's article, so I thought I should write it down while I was thinking of it.

Bear Stearns/Santa Claus

(The following is taken from an e-mail to a law school classmate who was published in the Wall Street Journal in March of 2008 on the subject of the federal government's bailout of the Bear Stearns investment firm. Most of the profanity has been stripped.)

I have been thinking about [the Bear Stearns bailout] since I learned of it down in the Cayman Islands. I heard that raving twit, [US Treasury Secretary] Henry Paulson, stammering and stuttering his explanation of why it made sense to do the bailout. What a nincompoop!

No, actually, we the audience are the nincompoops because we nod our heads and suck this stuff up.

How can ANYBODY be surprised (though appalled) that this is happening?? Corporate welfare! Bidness as usual! Dubious has had someone to sweep in and clean up his messes his whole life, so why not share the wealth, esp. at taxpayer expense?

Paulson should have had the guts to just tell all the naysayers to go have sex with themselves. It would have made more sense, and it would certainly been in keeping with the Vice-President's example vis-a-vis Sen. Leahy. Besides, what difference could it have possibly made?

Paulson said US "fundamentals" remain sound. Not one pseudo-journalist bothered to ask him what "fundamentals" meant. They all just regurgitate this nonsense verbatim as if it SHOULD make sense to the cognoscenti. (Only hopeless idiots like me need ask.)

Amazing. As a passenger on the plane said yesterday when I was ranting and raving about that, what in the world would lead me to expect otherwise???

I wish Hillary and Obama would weigh in on this stuff. I would threaten to revoke the guarantee the very first thing I do if elected Prez!

I finally figured out that the reason the Boooosh Admin. approved the Bear Stearns bailout is because there are no "nigras" or "spics" in high places over there who might just piss the money away on drugs and booze or "wims" for their personal vehicles.

We have truly gotten the govt. we deserve.

The prez candidates seem to be willing to say almost nothing of consequence during the entire campaign. It does not matter, though, because Mencken's "booboisee" just don't seem to notice or care. Most voters respond to how they "feel" about a candidate, which is just as well, since their brains are overloaded with "American Idol(t)" and "Survivor" and critical thinking is a lost art.

Since "feeling" is so important, I would like to hook their genitals up to an electric socket so they could "feel" even better! As Bill Maher said the other night in his "New Rules," that politicians need to quit saying that Americans are not as dumb as they are presumed to be, well, yes they are!!! Most Americans are dumb as you-know-what!!!