[The following e-mail was sent to a Catholic friend 9/20/17:]
Some time ago I had heard that "Immaculate Conception" pertained to the conception of the Virgin Mary herself within the womb of St. Anne (Jesus’s grandmother), to keep the Virgin “sinless.” Apparently, the Holy Church’s leaders (all male) seem to have had a problem with even the “Missionary Position,” as ordinary conception via S-E-X would be “dirty” and riddled with “Original Sin." UGH! Many of us faithless goy have mistakenly believed the phrase referred to the Virgin Birth itself, also “sinless” (poor Joseph), but I was finally corrected in my misunderstanding. It seems that Church leaders are straining to make all the weird doctrines that have been dreamed up over the centuries fit into the human perceptions of reality, and I think that’s an unfortunate, misdirected waste of time and effort.
Dare we infer that, because Adam & Eve likely had S-E-X after they ate the apple (and saw the light), that “Original Sin” (which I have NEVER really understood) is related to having done the “nasty”? Should we infer that Cain & Abel were conceived without S-E-X? I don’t remember if they were born before or after “The Fall,” which is supposedly when “Original Sin” attached. Might it relate to the OBVIOUSLY occurring incest that HAD to have happened if ALL humanity is descended therefrom? My Sunday-School teachers could NOT answer these questions!
I can accept that someone might personally feel that S-E-X would taint an otherwise “sinless” conception and birthing, though I could never agree with that, but was it REALLY necessary for the Pope (Pius IX) to jump through his own asshole to solemnly pronounce the matter as “official” doctrine back in 1854, or thereabouts? I don’t remember reading that nonsense in the Bible! My former German professor, who is also an ordained Episcopal priest, was able to read Greek and Latin, and he told me once that the translation from Greek attributed to the English word “virgin” could also be translated as “young girl,” NOT NECESSARILY a “virgin” in the sexless sense.
Having studied 3 foreign languages, I am firmly leery of hearsay translations. Way too many human beings put their own spin on stuff like that. I cannot buy the notion of utterly inerrant translations via the “spirit” of God having infused the translator! Seriously! Jesus did NOT speak Elizabethan English, despite what many would fervently believe! Of course, I don’t know about any of that, but it seems that a LOT of declared Christians (not just Catholics) are obsessed with all the “rules and regulations” and hocus-pocus and less so with just accepting and following the teachings of Jesus.
SPEAKING OF “hearsay,” one should read the so-called “Jefferson Bible.” Thomas Jefferson was classically educated at William & Mary and was fluent in Greek and Latin. He did his own translation of the New Testament from Greek, and being also LEGALLY trained, he applied the English Rules of Evidence thereto, excluding ALL hearsay but for some narrative to tie things together. It pretty much boils down to just a small, distilled recital of the teachings of Jesus! The MOST INTERESTING part of it, however, is that it ENDS at the Crucifixion, NOT the Resurrection (which is hearsay)! I think that every account of the Risen Jesus in the New Testament is written in the 3d-person. I don’t recall ANY passage where one directly declares that he/she has PERSONALLY seen the Risen Jesus—it is always written in the passive voice: he “was seen”; the wounds “were seen,” etc. Hearsay.
Finally, the metaphor about “The Fall” seems to be that one should remain fat, dumb and happy and do what (s)he is told, then God will be nice to you. But if you DARE open your eyes and question what is going on, you will be PUNISHED for your uppity ways! The Evil Snake will BITE YOU! That is hogwash, as far as I am concerned! I well KNOW that one must trade clueless “happiness” for being dreadfully aware of all the misery and suffering and evil going on, but I prefer unhappy KNOWLEDGE over STUPID happiness! I don’t need a “devil” to blame to let human assholes off the hook, either!
I heard it through the grapevine!
