Monday, August 5, 2019

BEE STING

There is probably nothing stronger than the vitriol of a child who’s been wronged.

We are told that the vagus nerve connects the stomach to the brain to tell us when we are “full.”  (Personally, I think I was born without the vagus nerve, because I cannot remember a time when I was NOT HUNGRY!)  I think there must also be a duct that connects the brain to the stomach, and that duct drips pure vitriol into the stomach whenever we are really pissed off!  I know mine works!

When I was 10 years old and in the 5th grade, I was involved in a “spelling bee” that went on so long between me and a classmate that the teacher got weary and handed off the word book to another student to continue to call out words for the remaining two of us.  We had demolished all the other students!  My “opponent” and I “hammered” at each other for almost another hour, without error, neither of us giving an inch!  Finally, the gal who had the word book called out “LUZE” to me, and I spelled it “LOSE,” right?  Well, she hollered “WRONG,” and my opponent quickly spelled it (incorrectly) as “LOOSE,” and she was declared the victor!  Boy, was I stung!

I vehemently protested the incorrect pronunciation to no avail.  The teacher was just grateful the goddamned thing was OVER, and she shut me down quickly!  She had not been paying attention, so she could not resolve the pronunciation dispute.  I went to my seat and sulked.  The “victor” was smugly proud of herself, and the entire class was exultant it was finally ended, too!  I was totally isolated in my funk.  NOBODY cared!

I am STILL pissed off about it, almost 63 years later!  Injustice dies hard!  I guess that’s why I am such a civil libertarian.  All because of a long-ago “bee sting”!

Sunday, March 3, 2019

HOMO ERECTUS NO-MO'


I have been nurturing one of my pet “theories” about WHEN there was a transition from the worship of mostly FEMALE deities to MALE deities in prehistoric times!

Many of the earliest deities were female fertility symbols (like the “Venus of Willendorf”— https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venus_of_Willendorf), 






But MY theory is that the notion of a MALE creator deity did not really come into dominance until humans settled down and began agricultural pursuits instead of hunting and gathering, which was a definitely nomadic activity.  Once humans settled on fixed parcels of land, it became necessary to DEFEND that possession by military means, since other humans were only too glad to push people off fertile soil to use it for themselves.

The pursuit of agricultural activities allowed specialization, since those tending the soil could produce protein far in excess of their own personal needs, while others could go do something else, like making swords and spears to furnish a STANDING army made necessary by the need to defend that chosen patch of soil!  Once that specialization had occurred, and once the standing armies were established, I speculate it became difficult to whip the troops up for battle in the name of some "weak" female deity, thus the emergence of virile MALE deities (like Mars, Jove, Yahweh, etc.) presumably to inspire the troops to go out there and “kick ass and take names”!  It did not take long for the “guys” to dominate the “gals” among the deities (just as in real life) so the “guys” eventually became the “creators” (illogically) and, of course, the “bosses”!  

So, I have thus concluded that the rise of MALE deities coincides with the prehistoric development of agriculture!  I have ABSOLUTELY no outside authority for this “theory” except what I have learned over the years, studying anthropology and “cave men” in college and dabbling in paleo-anthropology and archaeology ever since.  My college did not have separate majors for any of those topics, unfortunately.

Enjoy the following:

SPEAKING OF “cave men”:



The following was a caption contest conducted by Dave Coverly for his “Speed Bump” panel some years ago, and I submitted my entry: 

“No more for me, thanks!  It makes me ‘pith’ too much!”  


I did not even get “honorable mention”!  
It just so happens that the Latin name for the ape genus is Pithecanthropus.

And, having entered my "Golden Years," I have concluded that there is now a NEW species of (aging) human:

Homo erectus no-mo’ !


Tuesday, February 26, 2019

TRANSLATIONS


(From an e-mail to a friend, 2/26/19):

Having studied three different "foreign" languages and having been once fluent in German, I have done a few translations, and “de Debbil be in de details!"  When one considers how the stories in the Bible have “migrated” down to us, first, as oral recollections, then written down in Hebrew, Aramaic and/or Greek, then Latin, then laboriously transcribed and copied over and over by monks, then Elizabethan English, then “modern” English, etc.  

This reminds me of the game of “Telephone” that we used to play in elementary school, where we all sat in a line or circle, and the teacher would whisper a single word into the ear of one child who would pass it on to the child next to “her,” then it would be passed to another, then another, then another, until finally at the end some garbled nonsense spurts out bearing NO resemblance to the original word from the teacher!  It was an object lesson in learning how “gossip” and other stuff gets garbled and twisted as it passes from person to person, each putting his/her own spin on it and passing the content selectively until the salacious (mis-)information going around bears no resemblance whatsoever to the truth!

My late German professor (also an ordained Episcopal priest and fluent in Greek and Latin, too) told me, years ago, that the Greek (?) word for “virgin” is also the same as “young girl,” so it may well be that the VIRGIN Mary was simply a young woman and not sexually “intact”!  I don’t really care, because the multicultural “Hero’s” virgin birth is a common legend shared in many religious traditions, according to the late Joseph Campbell.  Most Christians, Catholics especially, think they’ve got a monopoly on “virgin birth,” but they don’t!  I loved his book, Hero With A Thousand Faces.  I recommend it.  (See Amazon.com.)

We learned very early in German to not translate “I am warm/hot!” literally into German, “Ich bin warm/heiss!”  That implies “I am warm/hot-BLOODED,” meaning “homosexual"!  You can imagine a bunch of young guys still in their teens in the 1960’s cottoning up to THAT concept!  INSTEAD, it is supposed to be said, “Es ist warm/heiss!” stated reflexively in the third-person, “It is warm/hot (for me)!”  Details, indeed!  Translation is an art, NOT a science!

I once got into an argument with an ULTRA-“Wrong-Wing” twit in Orange who was ranting and raving one day at lunch about how “violent” the Koran is!  (Ergo, Muslims are inherently violent, too!)  So, I asked him to which verse in the Koran he was referring, and he told me.  I came home, looked it up on the Web and, sure enough, the overall tone was pretty violent.  BUT, there were several other translations listed in Google, so I looked at another, and it was OBVIOUSLY the same verse, but it had an entirely different, peaceful spin on the language!  It just depends upon to which translation one is referring!  English speakers who don’t read Arabic simply cannot ASSUME that the translation they have chosen to read is the “correct” translation!  

Bill Maher, whom I admire and watch EVERY week is, nevertheless, a bigoted bastard indulging in “group-think” when it comes to condemning the “inherently violent” nature of Islam!  He regards himself as an Ivy-League-educated (Cornell) enlightened being, untainted by bigotry, and he angrily rejects any such accusation and will brook no argument against him!  But, I suspect that Bill Maher cannot read Arabic!  I wonder if he has ever learned ANY other language fluently!  Those who THINK they “know” what is “in” the Koran are fools if they don’t inherently understand Arabic!    I can’t read Arabic, but I understand the calligraphy is VERY subtle and particular as to meaning, like Chinese writing.  And the Koran, like the Bible, has been copied and re-copied and re-written numerous times!  How can any such document NOT be subjectively influenced thereby?  Think also of those native English-speakers who can’t even agree on what ENGLISH means, like the 9 Justices on the Supreme Court disagreeing about the "plain language" of the Constitution?  Dangerous!

In Bad Honnef, Germany, where we lived in der Rheinland for about 3 weeks at the end of our summer in Europe, there is a small street with the sign, “Fuckengasse,” which sign was ALWAYS being stolen!  (The VERY idea!)  Well, in Germen a street is a “Strasse” and an alleyway is a “Gasse.”  I guess that “Fucken” is a proper noun, because sexual intercourse is “ficken” in German.  I don’t know that “Fucken” has a translatable meaning.  Then there is the “Cologne-Dusseldorf Rhine Steamship Line” which is translated as the “Köln-Düsseldorf Rhein Dampfschifffahrt”!  (Say it fast!)  “Fahrt” means trip or journey in German, derivative of the verb, to “travel” or “ride,” “fahren.”  A “Dampfschiff” is a “steamboat.”  As you may know, the Rhineland has been passed back and forth between France and Germany for years (currently in Germany).  So, the city’s French name is “Cologne,” and the German name for the same city is “Köln”!  French “Eau de Cologne” is “Kölnish Wasser” in German and plain ol’ “toilet water” in English!  As far as I know, dogs don't drink "Eau de Cologne"!  (Maybe French poodles?)

The Norman invasion of England in 1066 CE (*) was a turning point in the development of “proper” English, initiating the French influence on a previously “intact” Anglo-Saxon language, which was a Germanic derivative.  Thus, the words for “fucking” and “shitting” and so forth were deemed “vulgar” as commonly used by the defeated native Anglo-Saxon peasants, while the words for same used by the victorious Norman-French, e.g., “fornication,” “defecation,” etc. were deemed “proper.”  And, that is why those “Anglo-Saxon"-derivative words are STILL "vulgar" to this day!

Jesus is coming!  Look busy!

_________________________________ 

(*) The “Bayeux Tapestry” famously depicts the "Battle of Hastings” following the Norman Invasion in 1066 CE, and Halley’s Comet also flew by that year, too.  The Comet is represented in the Tapestry!

Sunday, February 24, 2019

PROTOPLASMIC OOZE


(Originally written 6/30/18)

For the past several years, I have been reading about that mathematical ratio known as the “Golden Ratio” or “Golden Section.”  It has been variously defined as that “magical” number, or ratio, that often appears in nature and also appears most pleasing to the human eye when manifest in design, usually as a rectangle the sides of which conform to the ratio, known in mathematical circles by the Greek letter ϕ (pronounced “fee,” not “phi”).  My favorite source for this is the eponymous book by Prof. Mario Livio, which is indispensable reading.

The Golden Ratio is geometrically stated simply as any straight line of any fixed length that is divided into two segments, such that the ratio between the two segments is the same as the ratio that the longer segment bears to the whole line.

That ratio is about 0.62, the inverse of which is about1.62, and it is also represented by the numerical sequence known as the “Fibonnaci Series” (named after a famed Italian mathematician), wherein each number in the Series is the sum of the two preceding numbers therein, to-wit: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, etc.  The difference between each number in the sequence approximates the Golden Ratio after the “5, 8” segment, which is 5/8 (0.625) or 8/5 (1.60).

That, in turn, illustrates another interesting factoid that the difference between the Ratio and its inverse is the whole number “1,” and that brings me to the (tentative) conclusion that the manifestation in nature of the Golden Ratio may well be due to the fact that as an organism grows, it spreads out in all directions until it is stopped by whatever “boundaries” are in place or are generated from within.


As a rectangle, the Ratio often manifests in nature such as with the expansion of the shell of the chambered nautilus, which can be plotted as a logarithmic spiral (inclusive of the Golden Ratio), or even as leaves are radially sprouted from a growing plant stem or branch, whereby the sprouts are spaced relative to their predecessor in accordance with the Golden Ratio!