EGG NOG (Recipe)

CAPTAIN BRADLEY'S EGG NOG
© 11/15/07, 11/26/10. All rights reserved.

(The following is a recipe generously shared with me years ago by a retired Navy captain whose daughter was my first wife’s roommate at Hollins College.)

This is the real deal. Not for children or alcoholics or sissies.
Could be habit-forming. Probably not a good idea for the office Xmas party.
Protect the lamp shades! Drinkers might show their asses and get fired!
Guaranteed to turn any ol' crappy, boring Xmas party into a good time, however!

It makes almost a gallon of liquid, so make room!!

Create a LOT of space in the refrigerator. You will need it later.
Go buy a nutmeg grater and some FRESH whole nutmeg.
You don't want to use that crummy stale powder out of the little can.

Most of the following ingredients should be cold:

INGREDIENTS:
One quart whole milk
One quart whipping cream
One quart whiskey (rum, bourbon, rye, whatever CHEAP--probably not scotch!)
OK--750 ml. if you INSIST on using the metric system!! (Actually a bit more.)
12 TBSP granulated sugar
12 fresh raw eggs, separated
Lots o' nutmeg

ACTION:
Beat 12 egg yolks smooth and mix with sugar in medium bowl and dissolve sugar best as possible.
S-L-O-W-L-Y pour whiskey into yolk/sugar mix to "cook" the yolks while thoroughly stirring.
This step is probably the only thing that prevents illness from consuming raw egg.
You won't care, though. This ain't about your HEALTH!!!
The sugar should thoroughly dissolve.
Set aside.

IN A HUGE BOWL, PREF. STAINLESS STEEL OR COPPER:
Whisk or beat egg whites into thick froth with stiff "peaks." Set aside.
In another big bowl, whip cream into thick froth with stiff "peaks."
Blend egg yolks/sugar/whiskey mixture into whipped cream. Use whisk.
Blend in whipped egg whites.
Blend in quart of whole milk.

AT THIS POINT, the mix will still be very thick and frothy, and it will fill the bowl.
The whiskey taste will be prominent and powerful.
The color will be off-white/creamy.

THEN:
Add more whiskey if you like.
Put into refrigerator and chill after liberal taste-testing. One can't be too careful!
The whites and cream will separate and float over time, so re-whisk before tasting again, then serving COLD!!!
Add lots of nutmeg (preferably fresh-grated from whole nutmegs, as you were instructed) for serious taste augmentation!
Add more whiskey if you like. Just in case.

Get really screwed up! Gain lots of weight! Get thoroughly bloated! Waddle through your Xmas shopping!

Offer to refill guests' cups so you can sneak more for yourself! They will think you are merely a great host! (You selfish pig!)

If you like to live dangerously, keep adding more whiskey as the level drops!!

This thing has serious calories and serious booze effects. Screw the diet!

Seriously tasty. You will never touch that commercial dairy-case crap again!

In fact, you will wait anxiously all summer long for it to be Xmas again so you can make the egg nog!

And, screw Thanksgiving!