GAY MARRIAGE

[The following was sent as an e-mail to a columnist who opined against discrimination against gays.]


As a Recovering Homophobe myself, I used to be somewhat skeptical of the "notion" of gay marriage. After all, as comedian Bill Maher has said, I really don't want to contemplate at length how gay men enjoy themselves.

But, I have evolved enough in my thinking to believe that the unbridled and arbitrary power of the state is a bigger threat to me than gay marriage.

Given the clear language of the 14th Amendment regarding "equal protection" of the law (ratified by all the states), I fail to see anywhere in the Constitution that any government--state or federal-- has the power to deny access to marriage, per se, to any consenting adult human. Or, for that matter, to discriminate against homosexuals in the military. "Don't ask/don't tell" is one of Bill Clinton's everlasting shameful legacies.

It is not about "creating special rights" for anyone--all rights exist all the time and always have--it is about whether or not there is a "rational basis" for recognizing a "special" government POWER to engage in such discrimination. I fail to see any. Most of this homophobic crap is utterly IRRATIONAL.

Marriage is an important legal relationship--federal tax and Social Security laws, for example, allow certain tax and benefit privileges ONLY to marital spouses, like filing joint tax returns. No state "domestic partner" law can affect the reach of federal law, so the creation of "domestic partnerships" at the state level is utterly irrelevant for purposes of interpreting FEDERAL laws. Also, under the current rubric of the foolishly titled "Defense of Marriage Act," one who is badly injured in a state where no recognition of domestic partnership is allowed would be denied the succor and attendance of a loved one who just happened to be a gay partner and, therefore, NOT a "family member" or spouse. Look at the outrage of the ongoing custody battle between the two lesbians fighting over child visitation between the courts of Virginia and Vermont. That is just absurd. The supposedly "cured" Virginia partner is seeking to deny all child contact and visitation with the "uncured" former lover. That is appalling and saddening to me.

Most unthinking people see these issues as the "creation" of "special rights." That is unfortunate. The pain and heartbreak are real, sad and totally unnecessary. And, there is this astounding Catch-22 that gay people have no business "living in sin" (lack of marriage) when the governments won't allow gay marriage! Irony is not the strong suit of most political leaders including, unfortunately, our current President.