MY SAYINGS (so far)

MY SAYINGS (so far) 2/4, 17, 4/21/18

On the difference between A-theism and ANTI-theism:

Absence of belief is not the same as belief of absence.

On drinking, drugs, addiction and recovery:

If it were not for my wonderful, dangerous life experiences, I would not be the fucking know-it-all that I am today!

I inhaled—and I like it!

On “majority” rule:

The purest form of “democracy” is a lynch mob, for everyone in attendance agrees on the outcome except for the victim!

On the rancid ubiquity of MBA’s (palindrome):

“Generic Management 101”

A BMW; a rake—EGAD!  A geek!  A raw MBA.

On getting old:

The reason old age is called the “Golden Years” is because that is the color of one’s underwear!

On gay marriage:

If two gay guys get married and call each other “husband,” does that mean they are both WRONG at the same time?

Shouldn’t gays also have to experience the pain and heartbreak of matrimony?

If one objects to gay sex, then he should, nevertheless, strongly promote gay marriage, because we all know that married people don’t have sex!

On evolution:

I get so frustrated with evolution-denying dumb-asses it makes me want to go swim in blue-green algae!

On suicide:

It is really difficult to slit one’s wrists with an electric razor!

On depression:

I get so despondent it makes me just want to go lie down.

On coveting:

The Ten Commandments prohibit coveting thy neighbor’s ass.  Well, my neighbor’s got a cute little ass, but she won’t give me the time of day!

On self-identity:

I’m Wat and you’re not!

On career choices:

Trust me: I’m a lawyer!

On “free speech”:

The First Amendment ensures the “right” to be annoyed by someone else’s utterances.

On the difference between Donald Trump and Godzilla:

One is a huge, ill-tempered reptile with a big tail, small forelegs, orange skin and weird orange scales on its head, and it goes around stomping on helpless people, bellowing and baring its teeth a lot; the other is just a Japanese movie dinosaur.

On scary images:

Considering that all Presidents probably lie is horrifying, like thinking about your grandparents having sex!  You just don’t want to BELIEVE IT!  (Too bad somebody told Donald Trump!  About the lies, not the sex!  Well, that is a horrifying image, too!)

On bestiality:

The Rev. Rick Warren is one of those “Wrong-Wing” hyper-Christians who gave the invocation at Barack Obama’s first Inauguration, and who declares that “gay sex is like sex with animals.”  I have a couple of issues with that: (1) how does he know that? and (2) I really resent it because I AM NOT GAY!

On reproductive choice:

If a male wishes to express his anti-choice opinions about pregnancy and childbirth, he should first be able to extrude a fully-inflated football through his anus!

On outer space:

Black holes suck!

On abuse of power:

Most Democrats employ intrusive govt. to save us from ourselves, while most Re-Pubes employ intrusive govt. to save themselves from the rest of us!

On cutting-edge surgical developments (Johns Hopkins):

Dicks On Ice!  Coming soon at a major transplant center near you!

On buoyancy:

Imagine my surprise to learn that malfunctioning chainsaws and weed-eaters don’t float!

On growing up (Rockwell Kent):

“Doing as one is told” is a great characteristic in a child and a horrible characteristic in an adult!

This year:
May our 20/20 hindsight become our 2020 FOREsight!

Democrats who've lost touch (most current Democrats):

Chardonnay Democrats!

ON THE BUS--OR NOT

The brilliant author Tom Wolfe died May 15, 2018 at age 88.  I have read most of his books.  He was a native of Richmond, Va.  I did not think he was THAT old.  I always regarded him as young and “hip.”  I guess that means I’m pretty old, too!

One of his earliest works is Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, being about the LSD-fueled wild journeys of Ken Kesey and his gang of “Merry Pranksters” in the early 1960’s, back and forth across the US in a psychedelically painted school bus named "Further."  Reading that book moved me to pursue a thorough reading of the published works of Ken Kesey, now dead, whose most well-known book is probably One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, later made into a great movie starring Jack Nicholson and Louise Fletcher.  I have a photo still from that movie autographed by Jack Nicholson.

In the mid-1990's I went to the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, DC to hear Ken Kesey speak in a presentation sponsored by the Resident Associate Program, of which I was then a member.  Kesey was also rather well-known to most as having been an aggressive experimenter with drugs of all kinds, including psychedelic mushrooms and LSD. However, on the night he was at the Smithsonian, he seemed rather straight and sober.

Prior to the start of his talk, I saw Kesey "meandering" in the lobby of the auditorium where he was to speak. I approached him, and I asked him first if he was, in fact, not "Mr. Kesey," to which he replied he was. I then asked if the Smithsonian had been trying to get him to donate his old bus to them for display.

Kesey said that the folks with whom he had been speaking there had wanted to display the bus, but he said to me, "Y'know, that bus is rusting away in my back yard and is almost completely gone now!" I said that was no surprise to me; then he said (which I knew) that they had shot a lot of 16-millimeter film on those bus rides, and they had a tape recorder patched into the bus's electrical system. Unfortunately, the tape recorder would speed up when the bus engine speeded up, then it would slow down again when the engine slowed down. Kesey said they had been unable to "sync" the film to the tape, but the emerging digitized sound technology was holding out some promise.

(Indeed, subsequent to Kesey's death, his son has managed to produce DVD's of those films with the digitized sound track intact.)

Anyway, Kesey said he had proposed to the Smithsonian officials an idea they were not very warm to--to create a long, narrow theatre with two rows of bus seats therein, with those films projected onto a far wall for viewing by visitors who would be seated in those seats and who might, in some small way, be able to share the experience of "being on the bus."

He then looked at me and said, "Y'know, it was not about the ride; it was about the trip!"