MY SAYINGS (so far)

MY SAYINGS (so far) 2/4, 17, 4/21/18

On the difference between A-theism and ANTI-theism:

Absence of belief is not the same as belief of absence.

On drinking, drugs, addiction and recovery:

If it were not for my wonderful, dangerous life experiences, I would not be the fucking know-it-all that I am today!

I inhaled—and I like it!

On “majority” rule:

The purest form of “democracy” is a lynch mob, for everyone in attendance agrees on the outcome except for the victim!

On the rancid ubiquity of MBA’s (palindrome):

“Generic Management 101”

A BMW; a rake—EGAD!  A geek!  A raw MBA.

On getting old:

The reason old age is called the “Golden Years” is because that is the color of one’s underwear!

On gay marriage:

If two gay guys get married and call each other “husband,” does that mean they are both WRONG at the same time?

Shouldn’t gays also have to experience the pain and heartbreak of matrimony?

If one objects to gay sex, then he should, nevertheless, strongly promote gay marriage, because we all know that married people don’t have sex!

On evolution:

I get so frustrated with evolution-denying dumb-asses it makes me want to go swim in blue-green algae!

On suicide:

It is really difficult to slit one’s wrists with an electric razor!

On depression:

I get so despondent it makes me just want to go lie down.

On coveting:

The Ten Commandments prohibit coveting thy neighbor’s ass.  Well, my neighbor’s got a cute little ass, but she won’t give me the time of day!

On self-identity:

I’m Wat and you’re not!

On career choices:

Trust me: I’m a lawyer!

On “free speech”:

The First Amendment ensures the “right” to be annoyed by someone else’s utterances.

On the difference between Donald Trump and Godzilla:

One is a huge, ill-tempered reptile with a big tail, small forelegs, orange skin and weird orange scales on its head, and it goes around stomping on helpless people, bellowing and baring its teeth a lot; the other is just a Japanese movie dinosaur.

On scary images:

Considering that all Presidents probably lie is horrifying, like thinking about your grandparents having sex!  You just don’t want to BELIEVE IT!  (Too bad somebody told Donald Trump!  About the lies, not the sex!  Well, that is a horrifying image, too!)

On bestiality:

The Rev. Rick Warren is one of those “Wrong-Wing” hyper-Christians who gave the invocation at Barack Obama’s first Inauguration, and who declares that “gay sex is like sex with animals.”  I have a couple of issues with that: (1) how does he know that? and (2) I really resent it because I AM NOT GAY!

On reproductive choice:

If a male wishes to express his anti-choice opinions about pregnancy and childbirth, he should first be able to extrude a fully-inflated football through his anus!

On outer space:

Black holes suck!

On abuse of power:

Most Democrats employ intrusive govt. to save us from ourselves, while most Re-Pubes employ intrusive govt. to save themselves from the rest of us!

On cutting-edge surgical developments (Johns Hopkins):

Dicks On Ice!  Coming soon at a major transplant center near you!

On buoyancy:

Imagine my surprise to learn that malfunctioning chainsaws and weed-eaters don’t float!

On growing up (Rockwell Kent):

“Doing as one is told” is a great characteristic in a child and a horrible characteristic in an adult!

This year:
May our 20/20 hindsight become our 2020 FOREsight!

Democrats who've lost touch (most current Democrats):

Chardonnay Democrats!