THE BILLY-GOAT AND THE TROLL

Fear. Real Fear. Five years old and pure terror!

I was five years old and enrolled in Foster Jennings’ kindergarten in Weldon, North Carolina in the fall of 1951. I loved going to that first “gathering” of kids, just like me. Every day. We had a great time coloring with crayons, playing games, singing songs, reciting our ABC’s, and listening to great stories that Miss Jennings would read to us out loud.

One of those great stories was the tale of “Billy-Goats Gruff,” about the troll who lived under a bridge that the three goats central to the story needed to cross. I vaguely recall that the troll wanted to eat the goats! He was really evil and dangerous! It was exciting!

However, one day Miss Jennings announced that THE TROLL was coming to see us! I could not  believe my ears! The fucking TROLL? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (I didn’t really think “fucking.”  I didn’t know words like that at age 5, but if I had known them, I would have DEFINITELY thought “fucking”!) I was terrified, but I said nothing.

A few days or weeks go by. I can’t remember how much time it was. Then, one day, Miss Jennings says, “The TROLL is coming next week!”  Fear. There is nothing like Real Fear to get one’s attention, especially if five years old and consumed by pure terror!

God-DAMN it! (I didn’t know that word, either!) The abject fear gripped my little five-year-old body like a monster and shook me to my core! But, I said nothing. I really was terrified though, yet no one else seemed at all disturbed by this coming disaster! I never said a word.

Then, the following week, Miss Jennings reminds us that “the TROLL is coming tomorrow!”  

Jesus Christ! (I knew those words, but not in that context.) I went home and brooded about the coming disaster about which NO ONE ELSE seemed to worry! How DARE my parents expose me to such dangers? But, again, I said nothing. I don’t know if I seemed distracted or worried, but my parents did not comment. I was sure that TROLL would eat me alive since there were no billy-goats around. If that bastard (I did not know that word, either!) was hungry, he was surely gonna chew on ME! I dreaded going to kindergarten the next day.

THE NEXT DAY: I am sitting at my little desk. My friends are all around me, seemingly unconcerned about the coming blood-fest! Miss Jennings goes to the window: “Oh, children,” she says, “the TROLL has just arrived!”  Oh, my GOD! I am gonna DIE!

I catch my breath, almost quivering! The door slowly creaks open, and in walks a North Carolina State Highway PaTROLman!