What is “happiness”?
Whatever that means.
I have no clue! I have a prodigious, “sticky” memory, going back almost to infancy, but I simply cannot remember when I ever felt what might be declared as “happy.” I have variously personally felt or experienced hatred, anger, fear, dread, jealousy, envy, indifference, meanness, bigotry, stupidity, depression, offense, umbrage, embarrassment, perhaps other negative emotions; even guilt. But I cannot describe a time when I felt generally “happy.” It is obviously subjective, but I suspect that all those negative emotions have punctuated other moments of good feelings for most others.
I have also experienced much pleasure, gratification, satisfaction, love, gratitude, respect, admiration, fun, mirth, amusement, triumph and pride, among other such emotions. I am truly grateful for all those experiences, but that’s the best I can do. It hasn’t been all bad.
Our culture seems to INSIST on our being “happy”; seemingly insisting on some sort of personal duty to be “happy.” Or else. We are so hammered with that notion that “guilt” is the likely (intended?) result, for failing to somehow measure up. That stuff is simply not possible for me. I certainly don’t speak for anyone else. There may be others who truly feel and declare their “happy-ness,” but I suspect they are just witless idiots who CHOOSE to ignore the serious things happening in our culture, especially to others. Yet those who do ignore those unpleasantries happening to others may well feel truly happy! What—me worry? I can’t do that.
It figures the Germans would come up with the word for what I suspect is a common emotion: schadenfreude—literally translated as “sadness-joy.” Taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others. I have surely felt that emotion, too, from time to time. Is that a component of “happiness”?
In the Declaration of Independence, it is written that we colonists in rebellion are entitled to the “pursuit of Happiness.” But there is no guarantee we’ll ever catch it! We are not guaranteed “happiness”; only the right to chase after it. I’m tired of running after it. I’m 77 years old now, and I just can’t run anymore. I have had a very INTERESTING life, for which I am most grateful. It was punctuated by all sorts of emotions—some good, some bad. I tried to learn from most of it. But it was not what I would call “happy.” It just was.
And I suspect (regardless of what others may think) that most of us are in the same boat. We choose what to remember and what to forget. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’m not able to forget much. I feel cursed with that “sticky” memory, even though I have a “sieve” for a brain when it comes to remembering names! I even addressed my second wife by my first wife’s name, more than once! Duh. Thankfully, she just laughed. I thought I felt some degree of “happiness” with each of my wives. They were beautiful, honest, intelligent people, and I foolishly alienated both of them and, sadly, the marriages ended, to my everlasting shame. But I cannot be anything other than what I am. After 13 years, they each tired of the emotional “rollercoaster ride” and left. I have never blamed either of them. I just don’t deserve to be “married.” I can live with that. Thankfully, I remain mildly friendly with both of them.
So, there is a lot out there that might “get” to us, one way or the other. I think we should take pleasure, etc. wherever and whenever we can find it. And savor it, and HOPE that things will eventually get better, while we pathetically wallow in our miseries.
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