A "GUY THING"

© November 20, 2010. All rights reserved.


Most people, when they die, want to go to Heaven; I want to go to Harbor Freight! I love that place. I am as addicted to tools as junkies are to heroin. I buy stuff all the time just because I don’t already have it, whether I need it or not.

I was at Harbor Freight last night. It is several miles on the other side of Richmond from the direction from which I come. It requires a specific intent for me to go there. But, I am always pleasantly rewarded when I get there, even if I cannot find what I originally sought, like last night. Stuff just LEAPS into my shopping cart, which they so thoughtfully provide the customers. Like Costco or Sam’s Club, there is no way one can get out of Harbor Freight with just one or two items.

FOR EXAMPLE: last night I was seeking a wheeled cart on sale for my new sandblasting cabinet, which I also bought at Harbor Freight some months ago and which has yet to be used. I looked and looked for that cart to no avail, despite the determination that it was in stock. So, I got a rain-check. But, I also picked up a HUGE caliper about 30 inches long, some polishing rouge for plastic (I have some scratched reading glasses), some ceramic-bladed knives (they are REALLY sharp) and a set of four different tiny locking pliers, like Vise-Grips. I was ecstatic! It was almost better than orgasm, and a lot less work!

My shop is loaded with stuff I got at Harbor Freight that I have never used. I have all kinds of really neat devices that will ensure I can perform almost any repair task humanly possible. I never have the occasion—but I am prepared! I have several different sets of screwdrivers, sockets, stretchers, saws, saw blades, sanders, sanding devices, sandblasters, sandblasting equipment, compressors, cables, pullers, pliers, hammers, wrenches, probes, hoses, handles, fittings, fixtures, files, drill bits, measuring devices, whatever. I don’t care if I never use it—I will have it when I need it.

Willie Nelson celebrated his 75th birthday this week, and there was circulated on the Web a fine-looking photo of Willie and an apparent quote from him commemorating his longevity. He said that he had “outlived my pecker.” Well, that may eventually happen to most of us, but we will always have Harbor Freight, even if our prostate craps out on us!

It’s a “guy” thing; you wouldn’t understand!